Divorce is something that no one wants to face. It is a hard situation that many people have to find the strength to get through. Sometimes there are hard feelings between the two couples and sometimes the couple will still get along very well. It is hard to tell what is going to happen and sometimes you just have to see how it goes. The ball is in your court and you need to make the best choices that you can.
One thing is for sure; once you are divorced, you do not need to be having an intimate with your ex. This is not something that is wise because of the issues that will come along with it. You want to break your ties so that you are free and able to move on easily to better and bigger things.
You will want to remain friendly with your ex. This is for obvious reasons. When things go a lot smoother, you will find it to be a lot easier to get things accomplished. You really can kill them with kindness however you do not want to be so kind that you are jeopardizing your health and well being for any reason. You do not want to get involved with the complicity of having sex with your ex when you are trying to rebuild your life and make something better for your future.
When you are trying to rebuild your life, you want to do the right things. You need to make the right choices for you and you family so that you are not putting anyone's well being at risk. This will also include your ex. When you are still carrying on an intimate relationship with your ex partner, you will find that you may be setting either one of you up for a very big fall. This is not something that you should be doing at this stage of the game.
A divorce is something that can be very complicated and when you are combining sex with your ex, you are only making the situation more complicated. You need to make sure that you are severing these ties and making it very clear that you are not interested in this part of your life anymore. You need to of course make sure of this before you file for divorce but having a physical relationship is not the only thing that matters with a marriage. You need to have all the factors there so that you can have a successful relationship that works for both of you.
There are so many things to worry about when you are trying to rebuild your life after a divorce. You do not want to have to deal with too much when you already have so much on your plate. You want to be careful and make the wise decisions that you know you can make. You have to be willing to let the physical side of your relationship go so that you can free your mind and body up for the next chapter in your life.
There is so much life out there and when you are divorced, you are able to take it all on. You should not be holding on to the past even if it is comforting at the time. You want to get out there are find out who you are and what your goals and dreams are in life. This is the only way that you can make your new life a huge success. This is going to be worth the self-control that you have when it comes to refraining from having sex with your ex.
Do you agree that divorce is biased against men?
"Enough is Enough"
I have decided enough is enough. I’m tired of seeing my fellow men, my brothers in arms, being taken advantage of again and again and again.
I’m tired of seeing them lose everything that they worked so hard to get the money to buy – like their homes and their cars.
I’m tired of seeing them lose their life savings and be forced to struggle for the rest of their lives to make child support and alimony payments that have been set way too high and that doom them to living lives of “just getting by.”
I’m so tired of this, in fact, that I’ve decided to break the lawyers’ unwritten rules and reveal the true insider secrets you need to know to win your divorce.
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Divorce makes men feel devastated...
Seb Walker (guardian.co.uk)
Divorce makes men feel devastated, confused, betrayed and even suicidal; while women are more likely to feel relieved, liberated and happy following a split, according to a report published today.
While breaking up will usually make adults feel happier than they were before, divorced men are more prone than women to find solace in drinking. They are also more likely to go back to an old flame, have casual sex or join a dating agency.
Divorced women will give greater focus than men to engaging in "positive" activities such as spending time with friends or family, or seeing a counsellor for therapy. In contrast, men will worry more about finding a new partner and throw themselves into their work as a distraction.
The survey, which questioned 3,515 divorced adults about the impact of their marital break-up, found that nearly three-quarters of those separating more than two years ago were happier now. Splitting up within the last 2 years had left 57% of divorcees happier.
But the most significant trend highlighted by the research was that women are comprehensively shown to handle divorce better than their male partners.
Recent splits had left 23% of men devastated, whereas with women the figure was lower at 20%. Of recently divorced women, 46% said they felt "liberated" at being single; only 37% of the men concurred.
Among the recent divorcees, 7% of men said they were "suicidal", as opposed to just 3% of women.
The report suggested that the figures were the result of women's "greater emotional strength", pointing to differences in coping strategies among both sexes.
Men were more likely to take time off from work (8% versus 6%) as well as being more likely to be unable to work as well as usual (13% versus 10%). More women will spend more of their time with friends (51% versus 38%), while men are more likely to turn to alcohol (33% to 23%) or casual sex (23% versus 12%).
Despite going through greater inner turmoil as the result of a divorce, men are actually more likely than women to remarry first. None of the women respondents had remarried within the first 2 years of a break-up, but 4% of the men had.
Two or more years later, 15% of the men had remarried; for women the figure was just 5%. More of the women were just not interested in a new relationship, preferring to cohabit or just date instead.
The biggest fear among both sexes after a divorce was whether they would have enough to live on, followed by concern about the impact the split might have on their children.
But the most striking aspect of the research, commissioned by Yorkshire Building Society to help design better mortgage products for divorcees, was that men were shown to suffer more emotional trauma than women following a marital break-up.
More than two years after a divorce, 41% of men were still sad about the failure of their marriage; for women the figure was only 33%.
"The differences between men and women's emotional experience of divorce is startling; women simply appear to be stronger than men throughout a break-up and afterwards," said Rachel Court, head of mortgages at Yorkshire Building Society.
A divorced fathers journey...
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STILL A DAD: THE DIVORCED FATHER'S JOURNEY by Serge Prengel (Mission Creative Energy, NY, 1999). "Even when there is no physical violence, the adversarial system fosters a climate of all-out war in which the end justifies the means." In the opinion of this men's advocacy group, if you don't get anything else, take this statement home with you. It is something that almost everyone familiar with divorce in America has come to know, but now it's official. You've read it from an expert and an advocate for change. But, Prengel's book is not an angry one. It makes good reading for both men and women. It focuses on one man's journey through the divorce process and into maturity as a father and human being. It is a, "must read", for those interested in the human experience.
STILL A DAD: THE DIVORCED FATHER'S JOURNEY by Serge Prengel (Mission Creative Energy, NY, 1999). "Even when there is no physical violence, the adversarial system fosters a climate of all-out war in which the end justifies the means." In the opinion of this men's advocacy group, if you don't get anything else, take this statement home with you. It is something that almost everyone familiar with divorce in America has come to know, but now it's official. You've read it from an expert and an advocate for change. But, Prengel's book is not an angry one. It makes good reading for both men and women. It focuses on one man's journey through the divorce process and into maturity as a father and human being. It is a, "must read", for those interested in the human experience.
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